This Used To Be Me

26.08.2003 - 11.26
fear.

i met someone whose first impression completely destroyed me. there wasn't much of me left, granted, but even if i hadn't fallen in a typically impossible love, even if i weren't at my weakest, even if i were stronger than i ever have been, she still would have killed me.

so we met, and i completely underwhelmed her, and i don't think she'll be calling me back.

and even though i felt no profound connection to her, even though she hadn't shaken me from this current love, i still feel a sense of loss.

you can't possibly understand me when i say that it's starting to occur to me that i'm profoundly fucked-up.

but it rained today, and that's something that makes me feel better.

i am still alone.

then - soon

25.09.2003-Epilogue.

01.09.2003-

30.08.2003-Exeunt, the Moor.

28.08.2003-why?

27.08.2003-Last night, and august in general.